Hicks
So, it's morning here, been up all night. Doing nothing. Watched television while I drank coffee, don't even remember what I watched now....the images just bounced off of me while I sat there like a moron. Eyes wide, just taking it in with no thoughts, no reason. Bam. The coffee was followed by a large span of time that is now missing. Have no idea where it went, what I did. Probably sat in my room and stared for a few hours, I'll do that. Just blank out and zone. So, around 5a.m. I sort of came back, rebooted....put in a film and ate the majority of my girlfriends cheese puffs. Now, along with being orange, I'm in the position of having to walk up the street to buy more cheese puffs before my girlfriend wakes up. The movie, by the way, was It's Alive, a campy 70's film about mutant killer babies. With nothing to type I'm typing nothing.
The following quotes are from Bill Hicks in 1991, discussing the first Gulf War:
Those guys were in hog heaven over there, man. See, everyone got a boner over the technology, and I have to admit....it was pretty incredible watching missles fly down air vents. Pretty unbelievable. But couldn't we feasibly use that same technology to shoot food at hungry people? Know what I mean? Maybe fly into Ethiopia with a Stealth Banana?
My biggest problem with the whole thing was the blood lust that came out of everyone, you know? Our blood lust is really unbelievable. Like I was over in England- ever been to England anyone? Been to England? No one has handgun there, not even the cops. True or False? True! Now! In England last year they had fourteen deaths from handguns. Fourteen! Now! United States....I think you know how we feel about handguns. Whooo! I'm getting a warm, tingly feeling just saying the word to be honest with you. I swear to you, I'm hard. Twenty-three thousand deaths from handguns. Let's go through those numbers again....they're a little baffling at first glance. England, where no one has guns: fourteen deaths. United States- and I think you know how we feel about guns....whoo! I'm getting a stiffy!- Twenty-three thousand deaths from handguns. But there is absolutely no connection.....only a communist would make a connection. My guess is that the fourteen deaths from handguns....probably American tourists.
The following quotes are from Bill Hicks in 1991, discussing the first Gulf War:
Those guys were in hog heaven over there, man. See, everyone got a boner over the technology, and I have to admit....it was pretty incredible watching missles fly down air vents. Pretty unbelievable. But couldn't we feasibly use that same technology to shoot food at hungry people? Know what I mean? Maybe fly into Ethiopia with a Stealth Banana?
My biggest problem with the whole thing was the blood lust that came out of everyone, you know? Our blood lust is really unbelievable. Like I was over in England- ever been to England anyone? Been to England? No one has handgun there, not even the cops. True or False? True! Now! In England last year they had fourteen deaths from handguns. Fourteen! Now! United States....I think you know how we feel about handguns. Whooo! I'm getting a warm, tingly feeling just saying the word to be honest with you. I swear to you, I'm hard. Twenty-three thousand deaths from handguns. Let's go through those numbers again....they're a little baffling at first glance. England, where no one has guns: fourteen deaths. United States- and I think you know how we feel about guns....whoo! I'm getting a stiffy!- Twenty-three thousand deaths from handguns. But there is absolutely no connection.....only a communist would make a connection. My guess is that the fourteen deaths from handguns....probably American tourists.
posted by Samwick @ 7:57 AM
2 Comments:
At 10:49 AM,
Samwick said…
I know, baiting conservatives ought to be an Olympic sport. As a group they're very...how to put this?...touchy. Not big fans of humor, you know? I'm disappointed because the whole purpose of my "Let's Do This" entry was to upset them, but no conservatives are responding to it. Anyway, I loved your site, the Clinton Library pictures were great. And your the only person so far to get the cerulean blue/X-files connection. You win candy.
At 12:46 PM,
Anonymous said…
It's true. We don't have a gun culture. Guns do get used, illegally obtained, but mostly it's drug pushers shooting other drug pushers and it tends not to spill out into the wider community. Occasionally, but still too often, police officers doing their jobs get shot but the police themselves don't want to be carrying guns. They carry truncheons. I don't think anyone here in the UK wants guns to be legalised. They're too dangerous. The general feeling is you'd have to be a nut to own a gun let alone use one and it's one area where there is little to no understanding of the predominating US position. But then again, we see a born-again chimp elected to the presidency and don't understand how people could've voted for that either.
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