Eat Less, Lose Weight! Visit a Luxurious African Fat Camp!

Are you tired of being an unsightly cow? Did you know that the average low-carb diet plan can cost more than four thousand dollars a year? Why over-pay when a round trip ticket to Nigeria costs less than half that amount? It’s time to STOP losing money and START losing weight at a safe and affordable African Fat Camp! Our staff of painfully thin travel agents are standing by, ready to plan your exciting trip to one of our many exotic locations. Once there, you’ll be placed on a strict diet that has been carefully engineered by a highly trained dietician (and/or relief organization). Each decadent meal may (possibly) include ONE FOOD ITEM! Choose from: rice, a crouton, and (on special occasions) water! What are you waiting for, fatty? Sign up for our amazing program and join the 40 million Africans who are currently experiencing WEIGHT LOSS MAGIC!! No longer an ignored and appalling epidemic, starvation is now the most successful diet plan of all time. Fuck Dr. Atkins...you’ve got a plane to catch!

[WARNING African Fat Camp may include: mutilation, rape, AIDS, and roving bands of psychotic child soldiers.]