Astonishing Secrets Of The Future Revealed!
Matt will now, in advance, paraphrase the Iraq speech that president Bush will be presenting tonight:
"I want to offer a sincere apology for creating one of the largest foreign policy disasters in American history. I stand before you tonight, with a great sense of humility, in order to say: I, George W. Bush, take full responsibility for the failure of my Iraq policy. The difficulties that have arisen there are due entirely to my lack of vision and planning. Also, it is now clear that the problems in Iraq have been fueled by my reluctance to accept advice from those outside of my inner circle. For this I apologize. I ask for your forgiveness and patience as I now work to establish a new, bi-partisan policy that has, as it's aim, realistic and achievable goals."
Nah, just kiddin'. When cowards like Bush have to explain a difficult situation they pretty much follow a set, predictable formula:
1. Never take responsibility. The problems in Iraq aren't the result of bad policies...they're the result of people questioning bad policies. It's your fault, America, not mine.
2. Exploit the military, i.e. "If you question my failed policies, you are abandoning the troops." It's predictable, but it works, so we'll see a few lines like this tonight.
3. Exploit the hell out of 9-11, i.e. "If you question my failed policy, it means you've forgotten the horrors of 9-11." In fact, we can probably make a drinking game out of 9-11 references...there will be a lot of them.
4. Ramp up the patriotism. It's sort of a variation on the other three, but this will be one of the major themes of the night. "Questioning your loving, benevolent president only helps the enemy." And gosh, who loves terrorists? We'd better support Bush's crappy policies unconditionally.
5. Thanks to the extensive over-use of polling and focus groups, Bush will definitely go into his absurd cowboy mode, slamming his palm on the podium, using the childish "Kill 'em all" hyperbole we saw in the weeks after 9-11. It's obnoxious, but people usually respond to this kind of crap, so look for lots of action-film one-liners tonight (complete with squinty eyes and melodramatic pauses.)
My only other prediction is: the speech will have it's desired effect. His approval ratings will increase, and we'll collectively look the other way as things worsen in Iraq. It's just human nature...when a leader says, "Support me or you hate the troops", they almost always get their way. Very few of us have the backbone to stand up to this manipulative kind of rhetoric. It's depressing, but it's so much easier to keep our heads in the sand, so we'll see what happens. It should be an interesting speech, if only to see how closely he sticks to the predictable script. Tomorrow I will update this post, either quoting the speech where it fits these predictions, or pointing out where I got it wrong...it's not likely, but sometimes a politician will surprise you with honesty. Anyway.
Thanks.
"I want to offer a sincere apology for creating one of the largest foreign policy disasters in American history. I stand before you tonight, with a great sense of humility, in order to say: I, George W. Bush, take full responsibility for the failure of my Iraq policy. The difficulties that have arisen there are due entirely to my lack of vision and planning. Also, it is now clear that the problems in Iraq have been fueled by my reluctance to accept advice from those outside of my inner circle. For this I apologize. I ask for your forgiveness and patience as I now work to establish a new, bi-partisan policy that has, as it's aim, realistic and achievable goals."
Nah, just kiddin'. When cowards like Bush have to explain a difficult situation they pretty much follow a set, predictable formula:
1. Never take responsibility. The problems in Iraq aren't the result of bad policies...they're the result of people questioning bad policies. It's your fault, America, not mine.
2. Exploit the military, i.e. "If you question my failed policies, you are abandoning the troops." It's predictable, but it works, so we'll see a few lines like this tonight.
3. Exploit the hell out of 9-11, i.e. "If you question my failed policy, it means you've forgotten the horrors of 9-11." In fact, we can probably make a drinking game out of 9-11 references...there will be a lot of them.
4. Ramp up the patriotism. It's sort of a variation on the other three, but this will be one of the major themes of the night. "Questioning your loving, benevolent president only helps the enemy." And gosh, who loves terrorists? We'd better support Bush's crappy policies unconditionally.
5. Thanks to the extensive over-use of polling and focus groups, Bush will definitely go into his absurd cowboy mode, slamming his palm on the podium, using the childish "Kill 'em all" hyperbole we saw in the weeks after 9-11. It's obnoxious, but people usually respond to this kind of crap, so look for lots of action-film one-liners tonight (complete with squinty eyes and melodramatic pauses.)
My only other prediction is: the speech will have it's desired effect. His approval ratings will increase, and we'll collectively look the other way as things worsen in Iraq. It's just human nature...when a leader says, "Support me or you hate the troops", they almost always get their way. Very few of us have the backbone to stand up to this manipulative kind of rhetoric. It's depressing, but it's so much easier to keep our heads in the sand, so we'll see what happens. It should be an interesting speech, if only to see how closely he sticks to the predictable script. Tomorrow I will update this post, either quoting the speech where it fits these predictions, or pointing out where I got it wrong...it's not likely, but sometimes a politician will surprise you with honesty. Anyway.
Thanks.
posted by Samwick @ 12:21 AM
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