Book Reviews:
The 9-11 Report by the 9-11 Commission
Two words: Fucking. Hilarious. What happens when a miserly curmudgeon (Dick Cheney) is forced to share the White House with his bumbling side-kick (the Gilligan-esque G. W. Bush)? Wackiness! (Well...that and the horrific murder of almost 3,000 Americans). The 9-11 Report reaches its nutty climax when a distracted Bush gets confused and invades the wrong country. Woops! Despite its over-use of shallow, two-dimensional characters this absurdist masterpiece is highly recommended.
The Phone Book by the Phone Company
This Rainman-esque tale gives the reader an insider’s perspective on the nightmarish affliction that is obsessive-compulsive disorder. Follow the Smiths, the Jones and a large supporting cast as they struggle to cope with a fixation on numerology and alphabetical arrangement. It's a harrowing journey that offers its characters hope, redemption and ultimately: pizza coupons.
Tea Leaves by God (or the chance accumulation and evolution of arbitrarily existing matter).
Though not a book, the reading of tea leaves is an ancient practice that can be used in the prediction of future events. For this particular review I had a cup of Earl Grey. The leaves appeared to be randomly dispersed at first glance but eventually I could almost make out what appeared to be the letters s-p-l-m-m-m-z. Not very helpful, I admit, but when sounded out phonetically it does sort of resemble the phrase "soup looms". And while I had tacos after this, I couldn't shake the feeling that soup, somewhere, was lying in wait, scheming. Looming.
Next week: I review pants.
Two words: Fucking. Hilarious. What happens when a miserly curmudgeon (Dick Cheney) is forced to share the White House with his bumbling side-kick (the Gilligan-esque G. W. Bush)? Wackiness! (Well...that and the horrific murder of almost 3,000 Americans). The 9-11 Report reaches its nutty climax when a distracted Bush gets confused and invades the wrong country. Woops! Despite its over-use of shallow, two-dimensional characters this absurdist masterpiece is highly recommended.
The Phone Book by the Phone Company
This Rainman-esque tale gives the reader an insider’s perspective on the nightmarish affliction that is obsessive-compulsive disorder. Follow the Smiths, the Jones and a large supporting cast as they struggle to cope with a fixation on numerology and alphabetical arrangement. It's a harrowing journey that offers its characters hope, redemption and ultimately: pizza coupons.
Tea Leaves by God (or the chance accumulation and evolution of arbitrarily existing matter).
Though not a book, the reading of tea leaves is an ancient practice that can be used in the prediction of future events. For this particular review I had a cup of Earl Grey. The leaves appeared to be randomly dispersed at first glance but eventually I could almost make out what appeared to be the letters s-p-l-m-m-m-z. Not very helpful, I admit, but when sounded out phonetically it does sort of resemble the phrase "soup looms". And while I had tacos after this, I couldn't shake the feeling that soup, somewhere, was lying in wait, scheming. Looming.
Next week: I review pants.
posted by Samwick @ 1:58 AM
8 Comments:
At 7:59 PM,
Sheryl said…
The 9-11 report. Wow! If that's anything like most government reports, it's like 3000+ pages. Did you really read it?
At 11:25 PM,
Samwick said…
Actually, it comes in a handy paperback available in most book stores. I haven't finished it yet but I have been reading it. Apparently they hired actual writers to take the government report and work it into a readable narrative, so it's actually much more accessible than most reports. It's long, but not too bad. I can't remember off hand, I would guess around 700 to 800 pages.
At 1:23 AM,
Sheryl said…
Who is the "they" who is summarizing, not that I am literate or anything. Just curious.
At 2:18 AM,
Samwick said…
Hi Sheryl. Are you asking about the 9-11 Commission?
At 1:55 PM,
Donald said…
Please, Matt, beware the soup! Especially the primordial variety.
At 6:15 PM,
Sheryl said…
Hi Matt,
No, I meant you said that "they" had authors write a "readable narrative" of the official document, so I was wondering whothe they was.
I am sure that the Republicans, for example, would have a different summary of the report from the Democrats. As soon as you have interpretation involved there is room for spin, so I always like to know who is boiling things down before I trust the soup.
At 6:16 PM,
Sheryl said…
I had to mention soup since Donald just had. :-)
At 12:27 AM,
Samwick said…
Donald: "beware the soup! Especially the primordial variety"
It's kind of a strange coincidence, but that's actually what I had for lunch tonight. Primordial soup and crackers.
MMMM....
Sheryl: actually, I'm not sure specifically which writers they used. I'm at work now...when I get home (where the book is) I'll see what I can find out and let you know, it will be interesting to see. They probably used a bunch of weirdos from a conservative think tank...the kind of think, "War is good! Spread democracy by leveling Iraq! Yes!"
We'll see...
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