I Interview God:

Jews are the chosen people. Mormoms believe Jesus came to America. Christians and Muslims are having a pretty serious struggle right now. There seems to be an increasing amount of disagreement about what our role is in life and what belief system you want us to follow. Are you planning to release a more definitive set of holy texts, ones that might clear up some of this confusion?

Well, the reality is that books are created, not by a person or a deity, but by market pressures. Were I to lay out a specific, well-defined belief system, it would only have niche appeal. It might garner a positive critical reaction, but there's really no way to justify the publishing expenditures at this point in time...especially with advertising rates being what they are.

Universal truths would only have niche appeal?

When you say "universal truths", I would just ask: For whom? Which particular religious group would acknowledge it's universality? Followers of Catholicism? Taoism? The Atkins diet?

But maybe writing a new book would begin the process of uniting people. There are so many groups within groups now, and a new holy text might heal these divisions.

The problem is that humanity has become the cogs and springs in a clock with no hands. You're a collection of specialized parts in a collaborative struggle...and the only result? You tick, like a bomb. Humans can no longer generate, or even accept, an organizing principle. In fact, humans are threatened by organizing principles. Anything that unites you terrifies you because it dissolves your narrowly defined sense of self. Identity becomes something you cling to like a life raft. So, as humanity becomes more and more compartmentalized, a "universal truth" can only find a smaller and smaller audience. Seriously, I invented eternal damnation and I think the book market is hostile.

It sounds, though, like you are hinting at a major truth. Should people reject identity? Are you secretly a Buddhist?

What?! How can I ever target a demographic if there are no demographics? Identity lies at the very core of advertising, so if I'm ever going to sell another book I'll just have to adapt to these trends...which brings us back to your first question: I definitely plan on writing another religious text for the world...I just have to get better at collecting data first. Focus groups are so '90s, I need a better way to determine how people define themselves. I have to get in on this whole internet tracking thing, maybe create a data base of user profiles. This way I can take my divine word, break it down into various categories and advertise it differently to each specific group. Religion is more of a market-based gestalt now than a well-defined set of beliefs. Hey, there's a universal truth for you. Enjoy it.