Move Over Dr. Phil

Growing up, I remember hearing the same piece of inspirational advice over and over: To find happiness in life, pursue your dreams. The problem is that the only recurring dream I had as a child featured a bikini-wearing Chewbacca shooting bananas out of the sky with his angry spoon-rifle. Childhood was a confusing time for Matt. Anyway, thanks to the caring staff at the Happyville psych ward, I now have a much better perspective on life. It turns out that being happy involves, not dreams, but pretending to like your crappy, crappy job. If I could share one bit of wisdom with the youth of the nation, it would be: start lowering your expectations. Start now.

Thanks, and god bless.