I Reach Out To Conservatives

I'm sort of feeling bad for Republicans right now. They put their trust in a guy who can't seem to do anything right, especially when it comes to military leadership. He responded to the brutal terrorist attacks of 9-11 by invading the wrong country and even that has turned into an enormous diasaster. In an effort to save face his administration is constantly having to alter it's definition of terrorism, which makes it dificult for people to understand the nature of our various conflicts. Who specifically are we fighting? Not Islamic extremists: we are close allies with some of the most repressive Islamic theocracies in the world. Certainly not Al Qaeda. We're letting Pakistan lead the hunt for Bin Laden's group. That's a fight we abandoned in order to invade Iraq, a country led by a secular dictator who had nothing to do with 9-11.

So, given Bush's inconsistent statements and actions, Republicans must feel more than a little confused about who we are fighting against. Fortunately...Matt cares. I would very much like to see Republicans take the "War on Terror" seriously again so, to get them back on the right track, I've come up with a simple way to clarify who we ought to be fighting against. Taking a cue from America's Most Wanted, I have been collecting various statements made about the "bad guys" and have worked them into a rough composite sketch of the average terrorist. Hopefully this will make it easier for Republicans to visualize the enemy. Based on careful reasearch and intensive computer modeling, here is what a terrorist, as defined by President Bush, might look like:

Wanted: Dead Or Alive

Should you see anyone matching this description please notify your local authorities (although personally, I can't really make out the terrorist. I just see mommy eating a banana. Oh well.)