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poking intellectual holes in the lid of your simplicity

Monday, October 31, 2005

Worst Halloween Costumes

Ghosts. Pirates. Vampires: these are just a few of the traditional costumes that people love to wear year after year. If, however, you are the type of person who likes to do things a little differently and will be creating your own look, please read the following list of costumes that should be avoided at all costs.

Do Not Dress Up As:

-Franklin Pierce, 14th president of the United States

-a dangling participle

-a firmly attached participle

-the bird flu (going topical: yes. going infectious: no)

-your own mother (seriously: someone dressed as Freud could really give you a hard time)

-any character from The Misfits of Science (most people did not watch as much obscure 80's television as you did)

-half-eaten sponge cake

-Kofi Anan (if you live in a red state)

-Paul Wolfowitz (if you live in a blue state)

-Ferdinand de Saussure (if you are a post-structuralist)

-Jean Baudrillard (if you are a structuralist)

-duck genitalia (just...no)

-Matt from Cerulean Blue (if you insist on dressing up as a blogger, just put a tiny bucket on your head, glue a ruler to the side of your face and go as Dadahead)

posted by Samwick @ 3:21 AM  

9 Comments:

  • At 3:21 PM, Blogger Damien said…

    ohhh man Franklin Peirce was so going to be on my list. Although maybe it would'nt be a good idea to dress as Paul Wolfowitz in any state, let alone be Paul Wolfowitz.

     

  • At 4:21 PM, Blogger Sheryl said…

    Trick or treat!!! (That means chocolate, Bud!!)

     

  • At 5:21 PM, Blogger Snave said…

    I was thinking of dressing up as a dust mote, but then I thought that might not attract much attention... nobody would know I was there. Going dressed as an idea sounded fun, but I wasn't sure what the costume would look like, or how hard it would be to make. Instead, I have decided to trick-or-treat as a school building. The schools where I work are all solid and have lots of character. A couple of friends have volunteered to bring the bricks and mortar, along with some windows and a door, so we'll just have to see what happens. Hallow Happyween!!!

     

  • At 5:58 PM, Blogger Sheryl said…

    I dressed as an anachronism one year. No one could guess what I was though. I think it's a little more enjoyable when it's at least possible for people to guess what you are.

     

  • At 6:20 PM, Blogger Sheryl said…

    PS I wish you guys lived close enough where we could go out. I have friends here in San Antonio, but not the kind who would want to dress up and have creative fun. I guess that is what I am an internet junky. Halloween's actually my favorite holiday.

     

  • At 11:31 PM, Blogger Samwick said…

    Damien: "Although maybe it would'nt be a good idea to dress as Paul Wolfowitz in any state"

    And now that he's head of the world bank, he'd be a bad costume in any country.The guys a freak.

    Dadahead: "I will be charging royalties, though."

    You should go ahead and create your own line of Dadawear, get a patent on the "tiny bucket" look.

    Snave: "I was thinking of dressing up as a dust mote, but then I thought that might not attract much attention"

    The trick would be to go with someone dressed as a shaft of sunlight. It's a complicated pair of costumes but fun!

    Sheryl: "I dressed as an anachronism one year"

    That is a really cool costume. How did you pull it off, what does an anachronism look like? I always like the imaginative stuff like that.

     

  • At 1:11 AM, Blogger Sheryl said…

    "That is a really cool costume. How did you pull it off, what does an anachronism look like? I always like the imaginative stuff like that."

    What I did was wear clothes styles from different eras. Like I bought some white tights and painted designs on them like the female hippies used to wear, as well as painting flowers on my face, but then I think I also wore some of my mom's costume jewelry from the 30s, and some other eras that didn't match. I think I may have had a toy sword and a pirate patch as well, or maybe I borrowed my brother's toy machine gun. (This was back in high school, so I don't remember exactly how it was done.) But mainly I just threw together a haphazard assortment of extinct fashion trends. X-)

    To be completely honest (which I guess is boring of me), but the reason I went as an anachronism was that I had been intending to go as a hippie. I had been sewing myself a costume. but it was the first time I had sewed anything. The pattern just wasn't ready in time for Halloween. So the anachronism idea was me improvizing with the junk in my closet and around the house. Wanted to use the things I had completed in the hippie costume, but needed a way to mix it in with the junk around the house.

    Like I said, no one had a clue what I was and mostly thought I looked really weird. And I got even stranger looks when I told them I was an anachronism. My high school was a very normal place, although to be fair people did dress up on Halloween.

     

  • At 1:45 PM, Blogger Snave said…

    Thanks Matt, I just about busted a gut there! Sheryl, that's one creative idea!

    I didn't dress up for Halloween at school this year... never even thought about it, actually. One year I had a holstein cow costume, replete with rubber udders. The problem was that the little kids kept trying to milk me. My proclivities are not such that I would enjoy that kind of thing at all, and the costume and its results caused great consternation among school staff. When we had a yard sale the following spring, said costume found a new home.

     

  • At 1:40 AM, Blogger Sheryl said…

    holstein cow costume

    That's great. You wouldn't have picture, would ya? :-) I only have a picture from one Halloween in my whole life. I was Lady Zorro and demanded my Dad take a photo.

     

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