Letters From Readers
Every now and then a reader is kind enough to take a little time out of their schedule and write me a letter, usually offering either compliments or some constructive feedback about the site. Out of sheer laziness I've managed to get behind on my mail-reading, so I thought I would open up a few of the letters today and see what's been on the mind of you readers out there.
Mr. Cerulean Blue,
When I recently visited your web site for the first time it was as if a deranged monkey had climbed in through the window and tossed shit at my computer screen. I mean, in the name of all that is good and pure in the world, can you not update the look of this blog? Like, my eyes are bleeding, I cannot take the unprecedented ugly that assaults my face every time I visit here. Please, end my suffering.
Thanks,
Mike from Philly
Well, okay. Point taken. I've never done anything to improve the format and I agree, it's lookin' a bit homely. The problem is that I know absolutely nothing about computers. I've been able to set up the blog and post, but when it comes to tinkering with the site's look and style, I'm clueless. Maybe it's time to do a little research on this and see what options are available. Thanks for the letter Mike.
Matt,
Sweet mother of God this site ugly. My 4 year old son's unused Etch-A-Sketch is more aesthetically appealing than this piece of crap blog. It would be different if simple and easy to use tools weren't available for updating a sites look, but they're out there. Find them. Use them. Don't make me to do something drastic. I'll cut things, man. I'll cut things.
Stanley, Providence RI
Allright. I've already addressed this, so I'm just gonna refer Stanley to the above answer and, again, I'll see what I can do.
Dear Ass-Resembling Taint-Face,
Fuck! Cock-wad! Shit! Oh, don't get me wrong...I do have Tourettes, it just happens to be 100% voluntary in this case. I look at your blog and I feel duty-bound to scream obscenities. I mean, what unholy spawn of satan convinced you that this bland, texty bullshit was okay? It looks like some visually-impaired asshole on a crack-binge spilled blue ink on a cave painting. In this day and age, content without style is utterly pointless. It's the 21st century, so think about joining us, you ball-munching horse-cock.
Sincerely,
Grandma, Gulf Shores AL
Okay, you know what? Screw this. No more letters. Future correspondance can be sent to:
My Ass
P.O. Box Zero (just visualize the zero...put a lot of thought into what it represents)
Hinyville, Alasska (the zip code is just a whole bunch of zeros; figured out what they represent yet?)
Mr. Cerulean Blue,
When I recently visited your web site for the first time it was as if a deranged monkey had climbed in through the window and tossed shit at my computer screen. I mean, in the name of all that is good and pure in the world, can you not update the look of this blog? Like, my eyes are bleeding, I cannot take the unprecedented ugly that assaults my face every time I visit here. Please, end my suffering.
Thanks,
Mike from Philly
Well, okay. Point taken. I've never done anything to improve the format and I agree, it's lookin' a bit homely. The problem is that I know absolutely nothing about computers. I've been able to set up the blog and post, but when it comes to tinkering with the site's look and style, I'm clueless. Maybe it's time to do a little research on this and see what options are available. Thanks for the letter Mike.
Matt,
Sweet mother of God this site ugly. My 4 year old son's unused Etch-A-Sketch is more aesthetically appealing than this piece of crap blog. It would be different if simple and easy to use tools weren't available for updating a sites look, but they're out there. Find them. Use them. Don't make me to do something drastic. I'll cut things, man. I'll cut things.
Stanley, Providence RI
Allright. I've already addressed this, so I'm just gonna refer Stanley to the above answer and, again, I'll see what I can do.
Dear Ass-Resembling Taint-Face,
Fuck! Cock-wad! Shit! Oh, don't get me wrong...I do have Tourettes, it just happens to be 100% voluntary in this case. I look at your blog and I feel duty-bound to scream obscenities. I mean, what unholy spawn of satan convinced you that this bland, texty bullshit was okay? It looks like some visually-impaired asshole on a crack-binge spilled blue ink on a cave painting. In this day and age, content without style is utterly pointless. It's the 21st century, so think about joining us, you ball-munching horse-cock.
Sincerely,
Grandma, Gulf Shores AL
Okay, you know what? Screw this. No more letters. Future correspondance can be sent to:
My Ass
P.O. Box Zero (just visualize the zero...put a lot of thought into what it represents)
Hinyville, Alasska (the zip code is just a whole bunch of zeros; figured out what they represent yet?)
posted by Samwick @ 10:40 AM
5 Comments:
At 6:36 PM,
Impulsivecompulsive said…
I'm sensing dissatisfaction with the visual appeal of the blog page. Tell me, am I far off in this assessment?
At 2:13 PM,
Snave said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 2:16 PM,
Snave said…
I will re-submt my leter due too to many typos in thg frist try.
Dear Mr. Surrealean,
I like the appearance of your weblog. The name of your blog goes with the color scheme very nicely.
All those other hostile people that send you letters just don't know impeccable taste when they see it. They can all go jump off a cliff en masse, like the lemmings they are.
Sincerely,
Snave
At 2:10 AM,
Sheryl said…
Matt,
Has anyone ever told you that you are loon? ;-) But you sure can write well. :-)
When I am a famous songwriter, will you be my PR man? Please???
At 9:08 PM,
Samwick said…
Lady Compulsive: I'm sensing dissatisfaction...
Personally, I adore the look, it's all of these random assholes. Maybe I'll make up Cerulean Blue t-shirts to sale...they'll be all blue with a single turd on the front.
Snave: They can all go jump off a cliff.
I don't know, I have some free time this week, maybe I'll just push them off for kicks. Wheee!
Sheryl: Has anyone ever told you that you are loon?
No. They've IMPLIED I'm a loon, but usually they just tell me I'm "special" or "different" or "bat-shit insane". But never a "loon"
The Newly Married Girl With An Alibi: I think the same person wrote all those letters.
What? No, those are...you know, genuine. Despite the fact that my address is not listed anywhere. Actually, they just wrote my e-mail address on the front of an envelope and the letters came to my house. It's a new little feature the postal service is offering. Who knew?
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