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poking intellectual holes in the lid of your simplicity

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Matt Goes To Town On A Jar Of Green Olives

I don't know what happened. I just opened the fridge, thought, "Hey, those look good," decided I would eat two or three of them. Took the jar to the couch, Saved by the Bell was on (one from that crappy season where they were at the beach, what the fuck) and by the time the episode ended the jar was empty. I wasn't even conscious of what was happening, I just went into some kind of Screech-induced hypnotic state and ate the whole frickin' jar. Woo, those things are like candy (except sugarless and pimento-filled and not at all like candy). Anyway, I just staggered around the house for an hour or so, feeling utterly sick at my stomach, moaning "Why God?! Why did you let me do that?!" Ugh, it was too much. Anyway, once I started feeling better I picked up the phone and ordered a veggie pizza with extra green olives. Mmmm...precious, olivey goodness.

posted by Samwick @ 6:29 AM  

7 Comments:

  • At 11:05 AM, Blogger Girl With An Alibi said…

    Maybe you're pregnant.

     

  • At 4:20 PM, Blogger Damien said…

    have you been suffering morning sickness. Damn Matt you'll have to start going back through your little black book.

    (why are your darn word verification
    passwords always soo long zcanpydm)

     

  • At 11:23 PM, Blogger Snave said…

    Green olives qualify as Food of the Gods in my culinary opinion. Thankfully my wife keeps an eye on the jar I usually keep in our fridge, or my body's sodium content would be at a constant crisis level.

     

  • At 3:43 AM, Blogger Sheryl said…

    I made myself sick at the chinese buffet tonight. There weren't any olives, but I did go overboard on shrimp and mussels and spicy sauce and fried cheessticks.

    Mmmmmm...Food orgies are dangerous, but well worth it.

     

  • At 9:54 AM, Blogger Samwick said…

    Alibi: I may very well have a bun in the oven, I should probably look into that. It would explain the infamous Screaming Pickle Rampage that took place at a local grocery store last week. Names (mine) have been withheld to protect the innocent.

    I have to admit, dadahead, the beach season wasn't all THAT bad. Bikinis were worn, hotties were paraded about. I just think the school context provided a more layered dramatic texture for Screech's post-structuralist meanderings.

    Damien: actually, I have been suffering a bit of morning sickness lately. I just thought it was a hangover from the gallon of wine I am drinking each night, but I should probably see my gynecologist. I'm with you on the word verification deal, it's annoying. Grr.

    Snave, my body is well past the sodium crisis level. Fortunately my blood sugar level usually runs about 900, so I'm too distracted by the Ben & Jerry's-induced coma to notice.

    Hi Sheryl. I loves me some food extravaganzas. I really have to avoid buffets, I just tend to freak out and drag the entire food cart to my table. When I finish that I then move into the kitchen and start grazing from the industrial size fridge, it's...frightening.

     

  • At 1:15 PM, Blogger Snave said…

    I watch television news and I get mourning sickness.

     

  • At 7:07 PM, Blogger Sheryl said…

    I just tend to freak out and drag the entire food cart to my table. When I finish that I then move into the kitchen and start grazing from the industrial size fridge, it's...frightening.

    This is why the romans had troughs for barfing some of it up. ;-)

    My friend and I are going for indian food.

     

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