Matt World

Reality shows are bad enough on their own, but when they include pathetic, no-talent celebrities, it just becomes an unbearable nightmare (see shows like "Dancing with the Stars" and "The Surreal World" for details; or better yet, don't). And I was thinking: there is one thing that could improve reality television. If I were allowed to put these shows together and create the premise for each one, they might actually be watchable. So if, in a parralel universe, Cerulean Blue were a tv network, here are the 10 reality shows I would greenlight:

1. Square Dancing With Morbidly Obese Celebrities.

2. Don Knotts, Absinthe and a Wallaby.

3. Latch-Key Celebrity Children Go Bar-Hopping.

4. The Greta Van Sustern Firing Range Mishap.

5. Brady Bunch Hand-Puppet Freak Out.

6. Branson Missouri's Andy Williams Gets Fucked-Up On Paint-Thinner.

7. Who Wants To Be a Millionare (Celebrity Who Confounds Hookers With Puzzling Requests)?

8. Circus of the Alcoholic Stars.

9. Weezing, Tubercular Celebrities On Ice.

10. Administering First-Aid to Weezing, Tubercular (and Now Bleeding) Celebrities On Ice.

Thanks