So, Uh...The Vice-President Shot A Guy. Wow.

Can you imagine being the shooting victim? That's a weird conversation to wake up to at the hospital.

Wounded Guy: Wh...where am I?

Doctor: You're at the hospital, sir. You're going to be okay. Let me ask you: what's the last thing you remember?

WG: Huh. I was out hunting. I was walking along some bushes or something...and that's it. Then I woke up here. I don't understand, what happened?

Doctor: Well. The Vice-President of the United States shot you in the face.

WG: Wait, wait...what happened?!

Doctor: Dick Cheney. Shotgun. Boom.

WG: Holy shit!

Doctor: Seriously, I know. I mean, damn dude, that's fucked up.

Cheney walks into the room, says, "Hey guy. I brought you some flowers. Doin' alright?"

WG: No I'm not doing alright! You shot me in the face!

Cheney: Yeah, sorry about that. I just feel terrible about the whole thing.

WG: But we were hunting quail! How did you confuse me with a small bird?!

Cheney: Gosh, I don't know. I guess I was just getting hungry and when I saw that bush moving I thought, "Hey, lunch!" *snicker*

WG: Dude, are you laughing?

Cheney: No, no, it's just the look on your face...it was classic! It was like, "AAaahhh!!"

Doctor: Sir, this really isn't the time...

Cheney: And then you started screaming in this girly, high-pitched voice, it was hilarious!

Doctor, ushering Cheney from the room: Okay. Visiting hours are officially over.