Twilight of the Idle

Jesus, Darwin and Mohammed walk into a bar.

Jesus orders wine. Darwin orders whiskey. Mohammed orders water (he's the designated driver).

A TV above the bar shows images of angry Muslims rioting and burning buildings. Mohammed heaves a heavy sigh and Jesus says, "You okay?"

"Not really," Mohammed replies. "I mean, things have been bad for awhile but to see it all playing out like this on a global stage...it's depressing."

Darwin taps the bar, smiles: "Bartender, another shot please."

Jesus sips his wine, watches the television. He says, "I guess I don't understand. The Koran states that idolatry is forbidden. Creating imagery of you, Mohammed, is a crime punishable by death. But is that what's causing this outcry about the cartoon? Islamic law is broken all of the time without protests and riots. Where is this coming from?"

Mohammed: "I don't think they care about the image. It's the fact that a Western cartoonist drew it. Islam...it's theirs, it what gives their lives meaning, and some outsider is presuming to comment upon it. They feel threatened."

"Yeah. I mean, that's it," Jesus says. "The bible has dozens of laws, yet many Christians focus almost exclusively on homosexuality and abortion. Even if it doesn't impact their own lives, many Christians feel a need to oppose anything that's, I don't know..."

"Different!" Darwin yells out, smiling. "Difference is the key...and this has more to do with biology than religion." He gestures at the television with his drink, which is showing a blurred version of the Islamic caricature. He takes another shot of whiskey and continues. "It's like you were saying Mohammed; in that cartoon, they sense an outsider. They sense a threat to how they define themselves as a group, and that's a dangerous thing. We animals are hardwired to protect that which propagates our most fundamental attribute: our identity!"

Mohammed thinks about it. "Hmm. I guess that makes sense. It's like the whole Mama Bear thing...when another animal gets anywhere near her cubs, she freaks."

"Exactly," Darwin says, " Those cubs contain her DNA...they are the continuance of her genetic legacy, and she will attack anything that comes close to threatening that. She'll even attack when no harm is intended simply because something outside of her gene pool is nearby. If it is otherness, it is a threat."

Jesus: "So in humans that fear of otherness has extended into our social lives. Instead of one's gene pool, they protect group identity. They protect values, laws..."

Mohammed: "Tradition. Culture..."

Darwin: "Ideology. Religion. It doesn't matter: We protect what defines us. We attack what defines them...end of story."

Mohammed sighs again, says, "Hoo. That is depressing. And with the internet, with cell phones...with technology in general becoming cheaper and more portable..."

"Difference is more diffuse," Darwin says, interrupting. "It's everywhere now! Did you know that more genocides occurred in the last century than at any other time in human history? Technology has become a kind of widespread, electric otherness and I fear the global upheavals we are seeing now are only the beginning of a much larger trend."

In silence, they all just sit and stare at their drinks for a bit. Finally, Jesus raises his glass of wine and, in a sad voice, proposes a toast: "Here's to otherness. May it survive this new age of Cartoons and Butchery."