Men Of Straw
Have you ever watched Donald Rumsfeld try to answer a question? Any question, be it from a Senator or reporter? He can't do it. That evasive little shit can't say one word without adding some snide remark or flat out lie. He is unable to say the words "yes" or "no", he has to act out this little wanna-be-tough-guy schtick where he shrugs, seems all upset and then harasses whoever dared to ask the mighty Rumsfeld a question. And it doesn't matter what the question is. Ask him if the moon exists and suddenly he's Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. "Does what exist? Ask me that again...come on, ask me again. What are you, scared? Is my rusty switchblade scaring you?"
Actually, I don't think Goodfellas is the best example. Have you ever seen Blue Velvet? That movie where Dennis Hopper sucks in some mystery inhalant and then completely freaks out? To me, that's how Rumsfeld looks anytime he's asked a question. He pauses in that tense way and you think, "Well, this is it. We're about to see the arterial spray of fresh senatorial wound." And while Rumsfeld's arrogant mugging makes for good theater...thats all it is: theater. Not that I need to state that, its obvious, but it's a fucking act. That wrinkly, privileged little oil-whore isn't tough. The guy just knows that he is so incompetent at his job that dodging questions will be a hell of a lot easier than answering them. I was thinking about this yesterday when Rumsfeld was before a Senate committee dealing with Iraq-related issues. One question from a senator was: "Do we have a plan ready for a civil war in the event that one begins?" A simple question. Rumsfeld's answer? First he looks at the ceiling for awhile. Then, eventually, he says, "Well. I think our plan there is to avoid a civil war." Dodge. Simple question, he can't answer it. Do we or do we not have a plan?! Rumsfeld: "Um. I saw this cloud the other day that looked just like a sea cow." It's fucking obnoxious.
And by the way, I do know that the straw man fallacy is a cheap and ineffective debating tactic...but damn I love it. Seriously, I love committing it so much that I've just started calling it straw man therapy, it's like this healing catharsis for me. Hopefully that makes it okay, I'm
trying to reform its image. Besides, I think it ceases to be fallacious the moment I use it in reference to any member of the Bush administration. "Hey, look at me, I'm George Bush! Think I might blows me up a little Iranistan next month. Whooo-haw!" See? It doesn't matter what you say about these thugs, it fits!
I am also trying to justify it by believing that if Rush Limbaugh can make a career out of the straw man fallacy, then I can use it anytime I want. That's a sound, logical conclusion, right? Limbaugh spends three hours each day telling his inbred listeners what liberals "really" think, fabricating these bizarre left-wing viewpoints that no actual liberal adheres to. "I'm telling you folks, liberals are determined to take over our nation's school systems. They have one goal in mind and one goal only: to teach kids that it's okay to have sex with acorns. That's what they want! Every liberal is really just freaky eco-communist out to brain-wash your child!"
So yeah, fuck these guys, they don't deserve a fair fight.
Actually, I don't think Goodfellas is the best example. Have you ever seen Blue Velvet? That movie where Dennis Hopper sucks in some mystery inhalant and then completely freaks out? To me, that's how Rumsfeld looks anytime he's asked a question. He pauses in that tense way and you think, "Well, this is it. We're about to see the arterial spray of fresh senatorial wound." And while Rumsfeld's arrogant mugging makes for good theater...thats all it is: theater. Not that I need to state that, its obvious, but it's a fucking act. That wrinkly, privileged little oil-whore isn't tough. The guy just knows that he is so incompetent at his job that dodging questions will be a hell of a lot easier than answering them. I was thinking about this yesterday when Rumsfeld was before a Senate committee dealing with Iraq-related issues. One question from a senator was: "Do we have a plan ready for a civil war in the event that one begins?" A simple question. Rumsfeld's answer? First he looks at the ceiling for awhile. Then, eventually, he says, "Well. I think our plan there is to avoid a civil war." Dodge. Simple question, he can't answer it. Do we or do we not have a plan?! Rumsfeld: "Um. I saw this cloud the other day that looked just like a sea cow." It's fucking obnoxious.
And by the way, I do know that the straw man fallacy is a cheap and ineffective debating tactic...but damn I love it. Seriously, I love committing it so much that I've just started calling it straw man therapy, it's like this healing catharsis for me. Hopefully that makes it okay, I'm
trying to reform its image. Besides, I think it ceases to be fallacious the moment I use it in reference to any member of the Bush administration. "Hey, look at me, I'm George Bush! Think I might blows me up a little Iranistan next month. Whooo-haw!" See? It doesn't matter what you say about these thugs, it fits!
I am also trying to justify it by believing that if Rush Limbaugh can make a career out of the straw man fallacy, then I can use it anytime I want. That's a sound, logical conclusion, right? Limbaugh spends three hours each day telling his inbred listeners what liberals "really" think, fabricating these bizarre left-wing viewpoints that no actual liberal adheres to. "I'm telling you folks, liberals are determined to take over our nation's school systems. They have one goal in mind and one goal only: to teach kids that it's okay to have sex with acorns. That's what they want! Every liberal is really just freaky eco-communist out to brain-wash your child!"
So yeah, fuck these guys, they don't deserve a fair fight.
posted by Samwick @ 8:50 AM
4 Comments:
At 10:40 AM,
Unknown said…
That is what I liked so much about Howard Dean - his ability to demolish strawman fallacies and mischievous right wing non-sequiturs. And he fearlessly names names. Bush, Rumsfeld, Limbaugh - everyone of the lying liars. But do you remember how the "mainstream" Dems ran from him? We are going to pay a price for this cowardice. The horrendous hawk, McCain and the wily Giuliani will be hands down winners against any of the current Democratic candidates on the horizon. Only because they will play their strawman fallacies about national security like a violin and the Dems will be either screeching like banshees or saying pretty please.
Tom DeLay just won the Republican primary in my district and said his challengers "behaved like Democrats!" In his usual arrogant way, he also said that his Democratic rival in November, Nick Lampson is "easy to beat". And why not? Lampson, a very attractive candidate on paper, has yet to say anything publicly about DeLay's corruption and abuse of power. DeLay is eminently beatable this year if the Dems show some courage. Come campaign season, I plan to knock on doors and drive voters to the voting centers, just as I have done for every Democratic challenger to DeLay for years. But I am not holding my breath. Abramoff may be our best bet.
At 12:22 PM,
Snave said…
I detest the way these jokers twist language around and use fallacy to control our national political discourse. Both parties do the word-twisting, but the GOP is much better at it, and they use such strategies to convince huge numbers of doofii that their lies are in fact truth.
Ronald Dumsfeld is one of the Bush administration's albatrosses. Dick Cheney is another. If Bush was really running the country, he would get rid of those two. It might give his pathetic party a chance to win more elections in November. As it is, both those guys will stick around and they will drag the party down with them.
The longer Dick and Rummy hang around, the better for Democrat's prospects this fall... but it will continue to make things for America. I am almost at the point where I could accept not regaining control of the House or Senate this fall if I knew Bush wouldn't have people like Cheney, Rumsfeld, Norquist, DeLay, Frist, Falwell, Robertson, et al leading him around by the nose. The problem is, he confides in such people and trusts them.
I'll be doing what I can to set things right this November. Oregon has a closed primary system, meaning that in the spring primaries you can only vote for your own party's candidates. I am actually even going to register as a Republican soon, so I can vote for the less evil GOP candidates in the primaries. I don't like Republican philosophies, but I would prefer a traditional conservative to a neoconservative any day. Those are the choices on the right end of the spectrum here in Oregon, not only for local county elections, but right on up to the governorship. Once the primaries are over, I'll change back to Democrat. I know the Dems probably need my vote in the primaries, but I want to do what I can to stop neocon candidates from getting the GOP nominations.
Ick. Once I turn Republican, hopefully I won't have to start shaving my palms or increasing my dose of antidepressants. It will be grueling, but I will survive.
At 12:24 PM,
Snave said…
In my previous comment, I wrote "The longer Dick and Rummy hang around, the better for Democrat's prospects this fall... but it will continue to make things for America."
That should read "The longer Dick and Rummy hang around, the better for Democrat's prospects this fall... but it will continue to make things WORSE for America."
Just wanted to make that clear!!
At 9:31 PM,
Sheryl said…
I know what you mean about Rummy. He's always struck me like a rabid dog, completely and utterly out of control.
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