This Is Very Confusing

So I was reading a story about Bush's trip to India and it described his visit to the grave of Mohatma Ghandi. What. The Fuck. Bush?! At the grave of a pacifist?! One of the greatest pacifist minds in all of human history? I'm thinking, "No, no, no...surely the mother fucker isn't that disrespectful. Right?" But I kept reading the story. Apparently Bush, worried about losing his alpha dog street cred, pissed voluminously all over Ghandi's grave, so...you know. Whew. I haven't slipped into a bizarro, alternate universe after all. What a relief.

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?"

Yeah. Ghandi said that Mr. Bush, you dense fuck-wad.

Wonder how that conversation at the grave site went? Bush probably turned to the president of India and asked, "Ghandi...he was in a movie, right? That one about a skinny brown guy? Won a bunch of Oscars?"

"Um...no sir. That was a film about Ghandi. Ghandi was one of the great leaders in our struggle for independence. He prevailed against the military aggression of the British Empire using civil disobedience. He was a pacifist."

Bush looks confused. "Hmm...a pacifist. Ghandi was a rubber tit?"

"No sir. That's a pacifier. Ghandi was a pacifist. He practiced non-violence."

The combination of 'non' and 'violence' confuse Bush. His mind tries to slowly push the two together...'non' coming close...so close to the word 'violence'. But sadly, before he can comprehend this new concept, his mind fills with the imagery of shiny balloons and adorable puppies. "Tee-hee!" Bush says to his host, "Puppies. I sure do like them puppies."

Anyway, the Secret Service knows that when Bush goes tangential, it's time to rush him to nearest McDonalds for some free crayons and a milkshake. And thus, Bush's close encounter with pacifism is brought to an end.