The Diplomat

Bush made a surprise Iraq visit today, which must have been terribly exciting for the new government officials. There's an influx of foreign fighters, a civil war, an appalling lack of basic utilities...and the guy responsible for it all shows up! They must have felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Anyway, Bush was given a little tour of Baghdad, here's a transcript from that excursion:

Bush: Wow, such a lovely city. So...I don't know. Beautiful. Majestic.

Boom!

Bush: And the fireworks are a nice touch. You guys didn't have to do that.

Driver: Um...those aren't fireworks.

Bush: And the children...it's nice to see them scampering about, playing cops and robbers in the streets like that. It's adorable.

Driver: Those kids are actually shooting at one another. The sectarian violence in this neighborhood has been terrible.

Boom!

Bush: Ooohh...pretty colors.

Driver: I really think we should be getting back.

Bush: Damn, I've never seen so many pot-holes before. And they're huge!

Driver: *sigh* Those are bomb craters, sir.

Bush: Look at all them people just runnin' down the middle of the street. Must be a marathon going on, right?

Driver: If by "marathon" you mean "terrified Iraqis fleeing another car bomb"...then sure, why not?

Boom!

Bush: Wheee!!