I Interview A Blastocyst
Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself.
Let's see. I am an early stage embryo, around 4 to 5 days old. I consist of, oh I would say 50 to 150 cells. Essentially, I am an envelope (made up of single cells) that contains the stuff babies are made of.
And by "stuff" you mean...
Embryonic stem cells basically...hey, are you paying attention?
Sorry, I was just thinking about President Bush. He vetoed legislation this week that would have allowed more research with embryonic stem cells.
I know, I was relieved. The stem cells I contain are pluripotent, which means that they can be transformed into any of the more than 200 cell types of the adult body. They're very malleable, they can take any shape...kind of like the bad guy in Terminator 2. Damn, I've never thought of that before. I'm even more bad-ass than I realized. Anway...what was I saying? Oh! As a result of all this, scientists would love to harvest me for their work.
Which is understandable. Stem cells can take any form, which means they could potentially repair damaged tissue. I mean, that's a big deal. With more research, scientists could one day find a cure for Parkinson's disease, diabetes, paralysis and so on.
Sure, you could end a lot of disease...but you'd have to kill me in the process. Me! A blastocyst! Dude, I have plans...dreams. I wanna attach myself to a uterus one day. I wanna work on my cellular complexity, maybe grow a nice fetal bachelor-pad. Hey, that could be a great reality tv show: "Pimp My Placenta". Anyway, from there I'll become a happy, healthy baby.
Unless, of course, you end up with some sort of debilitating disease.
Even if that's the case, at least my development wasn't cut short by a scientist in some lab. My future life is valuable in itself, you know? Seriously, I'm adorable.
I guess I'm just not getting the argument here. You're a blastocyst: a post-zygotic collection of fewer than 150 cells. Research involving you has the potential to cure numerous diseases and to end a huge amount of suffering. Where's the moral dilemma here? If saving a life is one's goal, isn't stem cell research the greater good?
Ah, but you're forgetting something: the soul.
Where is that? I'm looking at a picture of you. Where is the soul located? Hidden somewhere in the blastocoel cavity? Is it discretely mixed in with the inner cell mass? Because I'm not seeing it.
It's, um...invisible. It's like in the movie Predator, where this alien thing has camouflage armor and he's all invisible.
All I know is that it was pretty disgusting to see the president carrying around a bunch of babies at his press conference, as if he personally prevented some sort of tragedy. The people who could benefit from stem cell research are in genuine need of help and it seems callous to imply that their goal is to kill babies. The president, of all people, should be above that.
I would hold a press conference and make the case myself but I'm invisible to the naked eye. I am actually ten times smaller than the period at the end of this sentence
You forgot to add the period.
Did I? Sorry about that, let me try again: I am actually ten times smaller than the period at the end of this sentenceO
That's obviously a capitalized letter 'o'.
Nope, it's a periodO
You're trying to exaggerate your stature, aren't you?
That's crazy talkO
Let's see. I am an early stage embryo, around 4 to 5 days old. I consist of, oh I would say 50 to 150 cells. Essentially, I am an envelope (made up of single cells) that contains the stuff babies are made of.
And by "stuff" you mean...
Embryonic stem cells basically...hey, are you paying attention?
Sorry, I was just thinking about President Bush. He vetoed legislation this week that would have allowed more research with embryonic stem cells.
I know, I was relieved. The stem cells I contain are pluripotent, which means that they can be transformed into any of the more than 200 cell types of the adult body. They're very malleable, they can take any shape...kind of like the bad guy in Terminator 2. Damn, I've never thought of that before. I'm even more bad-ass than I realized. Anway...what was I saying? Oh! As a result of all this, scientists would love to harvest me for their work.
Which is understandable. Stem cells can take any form, which means they could potentially repair damaged tissue. I mean, that's a big deal. With more research, scientists could one day find a cure for Parkinson's disease, diabetes, paralysis and so on.
Sure, you could end a lot of disease...but you'd have to kill me in the process. Me! A blastocyst! Dude, I have plans...dreams. I wanna attach myself to a uterus one day. I wanna work on my cellular complexity, maybe grow a nice fetal bachelor-pad. Hey, that could be a great reality tv show: "Pimp My Placenta". Anyway, from there I'll become a happy, healthy baby.
Unless, of course, you end up with some sort of debilitating disease.
Even if that's the case, at least my development wasn't cut short by a scientist in some lab. My future life is valuable in itself, you know? Seriously, I'm adorable.
I guess I'm just not getting the argument here. You're a blastocyst: a post-zygotic collection of fewer than 150 cells. Research involving you has the potential to cure numerous diseases and to end a huge amount of suffering. Where's the moral dilemma here? If saving a life is one's goal, isn't stem cell research the greater good?
Ah, but you're forgetting something: the soul.
Where is that? I'm looking at a picture of you. Where is the soul located? Hidden somewhere in the blastocoel cavity? Is it discretely mixed in with the inner cell mass? Because I'm not seeing it.
It's, um...invisible. It's like in the movie Predator, where this alien thing has camouflage armor and he's all invisible.
All I know is that it was pretty disgusting to see the president carrying around a bunch of babies at his press conference, as if he personally prevented some sort of tragedy. The people who could benefit from stem cell research are in genuine need of help and it seems callous to imply that their goal is to kill babies. The president, of all people, should be above that.
I would hold a press conference and make the case myself but I'm invisible to the naked eye. I am actually ten times smaller than the period at the end of this sentence
You forgot to add the period.
Did I? Sorry about that, let me try again: I am actually ten times smaller than the period at the end of this sentenceO
That's obviously a capitalized letter 'o'.
Nope, it's a periodO
You're trying to exaggerate your stature, aren't you?
That's crazy talkO
posted by Samwick @ 12:28 AM
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