I Interview President Bush

So you were caught using an expletive the other day in reference to Syria. Any regrets about that?

Actually that was a direct quote from one of my policy initiatives, so no. Syria supports terrorism and they- quoting again here- need to "cut that shit out." It's a technical phrase. It took me hours to come up with that one.

But it hardly seems like an coherent response given the complexity of the situation.

Fuck complexity Evil is...you know? What it is. And with democracy, you've just got to remember the whole thing with the marching of it.

I'm not understanding.

Stem cells are babies. They are precious, sweet little babies.

Maybe it will help if we just focus on a single issue. What role should the UN play in the current crisis between Israel and Lebanon?

Wait, I've got our policy on that written down somewhere. Here it is: fuck em'. And then in the margins I scribbled the words "Woo-haw!" over this little cartoon that I drew of a bobcat. I'm real good at drawing them bobcats.

I don't even know...

I will slap the teeth out of Iranistan.

*sigh*